A Letter to the Electrician

Dear Electrician,

I know that my landlord asked you to call me and set up a time to come by and fix stuff, or whatever, but that really doesn’t mean that the first time you call me you should say “Hi!!  You don’t know me!!” and then pause for 10 seconds before you identify yourself.  It’s creepy whenever someone calls and says, “Hi, you don’t know me, but …”  It makes you sound like a serial killer.

Secondly, STOP CALLING ME AT 7:30 IN THE MORNING.  I cannot stress this enough, even though I’m attempting to do so with big capital letters.  Just because your workday starts then doesn’t mean that mine does.  Seriously.  Stop.  Also, don’t call at 7:30 in the morning and ask if you can come over in a half hour and spend the whole day fixing shit.  Just because I don’t get up at the crack of dawn doesn’t mean that I don’t plan my days out or actually have shit to do to.  Have a little courtesy to: a) not call so freaking early, and b) call ahead of time to actually set up an appointment to come over.  Duh.

Thirdly, what’s with the pile of wiring and light bulbs and crap that you left in the basement?  Clean up your shit, man.  Furthermore, where the hell did the garage door handle go?  Did you for some reason really feel the need to take it with you?  Is a garage door handle really that valuable on the black market?  Give it back, dude.

In conclusion, you suck.  Leave me alone and stop calling me.  Really.

 Sincerely,

Me